Are you a proper wargamer?
If
Peter Cushing isn't the model of a proper "toy soldier" man - I don't
know who is.
* Spent at least £500 ($1000) on figures / tanks - and you get extra kudos for
every £500 you've spent
Lost count? I certainly have spent
$1000 on just the sheet metal bases that all may armies march around on right
now.
* Pricked your finger or thumb on a pike block -
several times
pike? No Lancers? Yes
* Tried at least 10 different rule sets and vowed never to play half of them
ever again
Rule sets for what RPG? At least 10.
Miniatures? Another
10 or more?
Napoleonic Miniatures?
Again another 10 or more … though I have not put down minis in actually
testing many of them out.
WWII? From skirmish
to Front level, again at least 10
* Bought an army off EBay
No
* Sold an army on EBay
Yes, several
* spent months painting an army - then used it in anger once
hmm, months? Not since I started with
15mm ancients and those have all been used in multiple tournaments and
games. So simple answer : no.
* tried several different periods and genres
Yes, from sci-fi games like Star Fleet Battles (that has no real-world
comparison) to hard edged Historical simulation games like Squad Leader (with
minis) and Napoleon’s Battles; both by Avalon Hill that have loads of
details. I still own many 15mm Fantasy
and Historical armies for DBA and Hordes of the Things. Along with the ever growing 28mm Napoleonic
/ Tricorne era armies.
* dropped a box of figures on the floor from a
great height
”A great height”? No. Had a tower of minis in drawers come loose
while driving on the freeway and tip over because I had to suddenly apply
brakes because of some *%$##! In front of me?
Yes.
Thankfully they were in my new magnetic format so the only
actual damage (that I could find) was a Hussar rider separating from his
horse. Easily repaired, there was time
used up in re-forming all the troops that had been knocked off the magnets
though, and that was too bad as the game was a special visit one and I would
have preferred to have more kibitz time…
* lost a battle on the last throw of the dice
not on the ‘last’ throw
* made at least one enemy for life
not that I am aware of
* had a proper, stand up argument over a
wargamers table
stand up argument? Like shouting? No.
I have had a few heated discussions, and have requested my children just
leave from the table rather than let them get too hot under the collar because
they have rolled a poor set of rolls and cannot hear my suggestions that there
are still options.
* thrown a dice across a room
No.
* rebased an army for a different rule set
All the time now, I LOVE my MAGNETIC setup for minis!
* inflicted a whopping defeat on an opponent
Whooping? Like 2:1 or more in casualties? A few times. 3:1 only once.
Hammered someone who would not listen that the
Axis was going to win (in Axis and Allies) after taking and holding Karelia and
having Japan capture India? Yes. I won the world in that game.
* suffered an embarrassing defeat due to a stupid tactical decision
Yup. Learned much of how not to use
cavalry in that game.
* joined a wargamers club
couple of them
* bought a ton of lead that remains unpainted
Ton? No. I do have lead that is not yet cast and lots of moulds to cast it
with though
* been to a wargamers show
not a UK or EU ‘show’ as it is known.
I have been to conventions in North America from New York to
Toronto to Vancouver
* have more dice than is logical or necessary to
own - and have used most of them
at one time, yes, and in my defense I bought a big bucket at discount (how can
you refuse 10 lb of dice for $3?) then progressively sold them off or gifted
them away.
* have taken boxes of troops down to a club just to show them off to your
mates
no
* You have reference books on each period / army you play
(I must have ten samurai books now)
not each army, I tend to get the campaign series that covers the events more
than the troops.
* Having played so many different games you confidently quote rules
for a totally different period, scale or ruleset to the one you're playing at
that moment
Yes, and I prefer not to unless we are in a round-table discussion of how/why
things are ‘done’ and what has been done differently in a game.
* You have lied to your partner / spouse about
how much you've spent on the hobby (When my wife saw my painting table, I told
her that Vallejo paints are only 75p each - I'm going to Hell...).
Nope. I have earned my cash for the
hobby and recently have paid some family expenses with it.
* You get genuinely excited when a package
arrives in the post - then hide it upstairs quickly before your partner sees
it. If your partner finds it first, you lie about the contents.
No, I show it off to those interested.
* You have joined a re-enactment society (5
points for this one!)
Did SCA in my twenties, then was in the active Canadian Armed Forces … they are
re-enacting the 1970’s all the time.
* You have played in an unsuitable venue (I have played in a wooden
pavilion in the middle of winter where we had to keep coats, scarves and gloves
on to play - and in a social club where we used the pool table as a battlefield
(making us the most unpopular people in Wallasey). I have since vowed
only to play where both heat and beer are accessible and in plentiful supply.
I have used my old shed without heat for a few games in October and November,
not any more.
* You continue to search for the perfect
Napoleonic / WW2 / Ancients / ACW etc. rule set (knowing that it doesn't
actually exist).
Search for it? Not actively, I am happy
to look over new ones and see what interesting mechanics people have come up
with to solve command and control issues mostly.
* For that reason you have developed your own house rules for certain
periods. And think them far superior to the original author's efforts.
There are ‘house rules’ in some games, mostly developed so that the 5-12 year
old sons that I have can get into the game and have a sense of fun (things like
written plans and maps are beyond the understanding of most 6 year olds)
* You have returned from a wargames show and
sneaked upstairs to hide the stash.
No.
* You have an irrational aversion to some
genres and vow never to play them regardless of how much fun they look.
Like Dystopian Wars, 6mm Napoleonics, Warhammer 40k, Malifaux etc.
If I think/feel they look fun and someone else is putting on a good enough show
to get my attention, I will play. If I
am asked to put on a game, there are some I have the aversion to … mostly the
40K stuff as it costs so much and has a play/feel like WWI
* You have made your own wargames scenery.
Yes.
* You have reached a painting 'wall' ("If I have to paint another
f________ Gaul, I'm going to scream")
From time to time in each project. Thus
the reason for switching armies and troop types from time to time.
* You have lost - and regained - your
wargaming mojo.
I dropped off the wargames radar when I signed on with the military,
about 5 years – then RPG’s got me moving again, after encountering a tabletop
gamer who taught me how to make my own moulds I launched into miniature
wargames – now after many many years of games I do not see the ‘mojo’ dropping
off. Most certainly the RPG mojo has
fallen off, as has most of my connection to those players.
* You have the occasional (and short lived) sense of guilt with your
wife/children when complaining to them about the money spent in clothes, shoes
or toys/Xbox games when you have £200 of unpainted metal stuffed in an upstairs
drawer.
Nope, I have paid bills with the sale of my excess production, so no such guilt
trips for me.
* You have done armies in different scales for the same period (e.g.
ACW in 28mm, 15mm and 6mm).
again, armies? Dunno. I do have Hordes of the Things Napoleonic
troops and 28mm armies – so I guess this qualifies.
* You have jealously coveted someone else's
troops (if Ian pops his clogs, I'll be round his house with a Transit van
before he hits the ground).
Yes.
* You have laughed (secretly or otherwise) as
someone else's paint job (Marks' purple camels come to mind)
Yes, we had a warhammer 40K player who was somewhat color blind and his silvery
green space marines were so painful to look at on the table they were always
destroyed first.
After one such battle where his force was literally blasted
off the table (three of us were shooting only at him), he commented about the
poor performance of these troops and wondered aloud about why we were all
concentrating fire on him.
Mike very directly told him that his troops were of such a
god awful fluorescent puke green color that we had to get them out of our sight
in order to think straight.
* You have provided a piece of useless trivia relating to the troops
on the table to show off your wargaming knowledge.
yep
* You have contradicted someone elses' trivia
- demonstrating your superior knowledge and giving you a warm glow inside.
yep
* You have caused a major disaster on a
wargames table (spilling a pint, collapsing the table, dropped someone else's
figures on the floor). Mark has flattened two tables in the past year -
and he was losing both battles....
no, not ever – I am extremely careful around others minis and ask the same of
others at mine. I take extra efforts
about drinks and have gone to great lengths to make many of my game parts that
must be so exposed somewhat ‘coke-spill-proof’
* You have cheered when an opponent's dice
lets them down at a critical point (I have literally danced in front of someone
when he failed a morale roll)
Danced? No, cheered yes – that is what
is expected in Circus Maximus!
* You have lied to your partner about going
gaming. "Mothers' not very well - just popping around to see
her. I'll be back in about - oh - seven hours".
No
* You have lied to an attractive woman (man)
about your hobby.
No. I have a wealth of historical information about many of the different
Imperial periods, so the minis may be the start of a conversation about Ancient
Greece or 19th Century France.
* You have made an opponent cry. It
doesn't count if they are under 8 years old though.
no the over 8 crowd – see comments about my young sons
* You have painted the same army in the same
scale more than once (Monty, you dawg!)
Army? Dunno what qualifies as an
army. I have painted loads and loads of
British line troops and sold lots of them and French Napoleonic forces also,
again sold them and made more.
* You have reference books on armies you
haven't even got (I have books on ECW, ACW, SYW, 30YW yet not one solitary
figure for any of these periods).
Yes. I have some ACW books that were
given to me by a relative when they heard I was doing mini warfare and
interested in the period – never did develop the forces.
* You have bought figures for a period you
have never and will never play - because they were cheap. Step forward my
HOTT dwarf and evil goblin armies.
I have some HOTT armies from Warmaster that are still unpainted, however I am
interested in the period and I have played many HOTT battles with other armies,
which these Warmaster ones are slated to join.
* You have inflicted grevious bodily harm on a
dice that has let you down. This includes the guy who used to drill holes
in them and impale the offenders on cocktail-stick stakes and Big Lee taking an
axe to one offender.
No.
* You blog or have a web-page about your Wargaming
activities
Yes.
* Your book collection is almost all war and wargames related
No.
* You critique 'war' movies (especially Hollywood war movies) for historical
accuracy (like the use of American tanks - Pershings I think - to
represent German Panzers in the 'Battle of the Bulge'.)
No.
* You spend car / train journeys checking out the lie of the land - considering
which way you would attack from and whether it would make good wargaming
terrain.
No, I
am too busy driving if I am in the car, or sleeping if I am not the driver.
Points Score: not sure how to score this – I think I got too many bonus points
in the first queston!
